Showing posts with label talent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label talent. Show all posts

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Isn't it funny...

how weirdly true those old cliche's can be. I suppose it's in the nature of a cliche to be weirdly true because they are notions that are based on a curious mix of experience and the chinese whisper effect of word of mouth, pushed onto the deaf ears of generation after generation. Yet recently I've been really struck by the phenomenal impact the meaning behind a cliche or wise saying can have.

Earlier this year I went on a date with a guy who liked to talk a lot about self-fulfilment and attitudes towards life. He loved his job and he loved his life and when I expressed my shock at his positive attitude toward EVERYTHING (by nearly choking on my steak no less), he said one thing that I'll admit I kind of rolled my eyes to at the time, but am now considering in a different light.

He said, "have you ever noticed that the things you want most in life are always the things that seem furthest away, and then in some weird round about way, one day you wake up and it's suddenly just happened? No one's there to congratulate you on it. If it's a personal goal no one else even notices. It's a quiet moment on any given day when it just clicks that everything you've worked toward has just come to pass". (No I was not on a date with Jesus, although he was a little bit Tony Robbins-esque - it didn't work out).

He didn't mean it in the sense that it just fell into your lap magically out of the sky (which would be awesome I guess, but then where's the challenge?). He meant that gradually over time we gravitate towards the things we need and the opportunities required to fulfil those roles gradually make their way toward us through this vast social matrix we live in.

Today I walked out of an exam with rather a lot of confidence that I did quite well. As a high school student I was always envious of the kids that were able to ace an exam and have a high grade average because I felt I simply wasn't capable of studying for an exam and doing a good job. Somehow this semester I managed to surround myself with the right influences and people with the right attitudes and together it helped me on the way to not only getting a pretty decent grade for a course I never should have struggled with in the first place, but I am now a giant leap closer to being that student I always knew I could be.

I've always wanted to be better with my money. I've worked part time ever since I was fourteen and I've never had the ability to save any of it or spend it wisely. This semester I managed to get my act together and form a plan of attack that means even if I do get a whopping $500 phone bill, I have a means to rectify the problem. In recent years (although not so much when I was in high school), I've wanted the self-confidence not to take crap from authority figures who don't know me from a bar of soap and think they can screw me over. Somehow, and I don't even know how, I've managed to pick up a knack for negotiating what I want and not settling for second best. I hope this trend continues.

So what's next for me? Who knows. Maybe it will all fall apart tomorrow. Maybe the cliche's won't hold true. Hopefully this gravitation will eventuate in me travelling again sometime in the near future and experiencing the big wide world again. That's all part of the challenge I guess.

Today was one of those random days for me.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Always one for self-analysis...

Here are your scores on the VIA Signature Strengths Survey. For how to interpret and use your scores, see the book Authentic Happiness. The ranking of the strengths reflects your overall ratings of yourself on the 24 strengths in the survey, how much of each strength you possess. Your top five, especially those marked as Signature Strengths, are the ones to pay attention to and find ways to use more often.


Judgment, critical thinking, and open-mindedness
Thinking things through and examining them from all sides are important aspects of who you are. You do not jump to conclusions, and you rely only on solid evidence to make your decisions. You are able to change your mind.


Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness
You are an honest person, not only by speaking the truth but by living your life in a genuine and authentic way. You are down to earth and without pretense; you are a "real" person.


Bravery and valor
You are a courageous person who does not shrink from threat, challenge, difficulty, or pain. You speak up for what is right even if there is opposition. You act on your convictions.


Fairness, equity, and justice
Treating all people fairly is one of your abiding principles. You do not let your personal feelings bias your decisions about other people. You give everyone a chance.


Perspective (wisdom)
Although you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

5 questions to me

This week's (am I doing this as a weekly thing??!) blog post comes from fellow blogger John Iveson, whose blog can be read at http:://www.wapentake.blogspot.com . He's a pretty cool and switched on dude, most certainly not native to Canada, and he asked me five questions. If you want me to ask YOU five questions, leave the URL to your blog and the text "interview me" in the comments section.

1. How do you think the world sees ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Australia? And how accurate is that?

I have experienced a wide variation of how the world views Australia, most of it really positive. We have a very rich family lifestyle, often filled with beaches, swimming, barbecues, holidays and picnics, which is not something that I would ever argue with.

Currently in Australia we have the highest unemployment rate we've ever had, so most people are in a good (or at least average) position, and really, with our (annoying - I've bitched about Centrelink in this blog before) social welfare system in place it's generally found that people who are poor or completely homeless are so by hopelessness or choice (although I've experienced better - Denmark has one of the best social welfare systems in the world).

I found that the majority of foreigners when talking about Australia focussed on this beach lifestyle as the centrepoint, which I think is pretty accurate. We swim a lot, a lot of people who live near the beach surf, yes there ARE sharks in the water, and we love a good barbecue.

The conversation would generally then get a little hairier after that, with questions of kangaroos as pets, where abouts my farm was located, don't I get thirsty living in the desert (what happened to the beaches??!), and some really outdated ideas on how aboriginal people must live coming to the forefront.

While I think it's great that they know the Australian beach lifestyle is the only one (which I think is something the media would have foreigners think in order to boost tourism), I find it amusing that the idea of a suburban Australian lifestyle to a lot of foreigners in incomprehensible.

The majority of Australians live in a country town or suburban community (thanks primarily to the leadership of Prime Minister Robert Menzies in the 1950's who built a suburban dream to combat the threats of communism). They go to school (on a bus not in a kangaroo's pouch), they vote for their leaders, they live in houses (one girl in Denmark thought I lived in a tent and that I didn't know what a bus stop or a stand up comedian was). The young people, my age, are the same everywhere. There are language differences, and slight cultural differences, but at the end of the day all of them just want to complete their schooling and take the world on in the best way they know how.

It's funny though, we do the same thing to other nations. Canadians go to school on polar bears, Africans go to school in a jeep waving hello to the tigers and the monkeys. Apparently. Then you meet them en masse, like I did when I travelled, and you realise they really are just like you (maybe a little bit kinkier).

I can only put down such conceptions to a couple of things - the media plugging the assets of a nation for everything its worth until they become the only things foreigners associate with it, and the fact that, when thinking about a country's lifestyle, no one ever really sits down and thinks about it from a logical point of view.

2. What are the best places to live in Australia if you are: a child, a student, working and have no kids, raising young kids, working when kids are older, retired?

Okay... It has to be said here that I grew up in a country town and have only ever lived in Adelaide besides my stint overseas and aforementioned country town. I've been to Melbourne a few times and Sydney once and that is about the extend of my Australian travel. So don't quote me on any of this.

A child - I found growing up in a coastal country town worked a treat. It was very cost efficient and you grew up in a very familiar, close knit community. When you went away for the summer holidays you went to the same place the parents of the other kids went to, so you had consolidated friendships, and a lot of safety and security. The only thing I really regret about growing up there was that I didn't get to experience much of the outside world at a young age so a few things came as a shock when I got older.

If you're a student I actually do think Adelaide is the way to go. It's not so small that you know everyone you walk past at the local supermarket (and you accidentally date your cousin) but it's small enough for you to keep contact with people and have a good group of friends nearby that you can rely on. The university's are very well respected, it's not a particularly expensive place to live, it's not particularly well known for it but it is actually quite a beautiful place, and there's always something happening in the student life.

Working and have no kids - Melbourne is probably the place. It's got a lot of tradition and finery associated with it, and it has a very strong business sector. If you want to experience culture and high class society while you're working with no children, Melbourne is probably the place to be, with its very strong culture of cafes and restaurants. Unfortunately it IS located in Victoria, and people from Victoria DO tend to be wankers towards South Australians like me. So I'm going to pull the plug on plugging Melbourne right now. (Although I nearly went a few months ago when their comedy festival was on - the headline acts alone make me recommend it even though I'm yet to go).

If you're raising young kids and want to have a city lifestyle I'd suggest Sydney. It's the oldest city we've got and my experience of it (ten days about five years ago, plus a lot of press coverage on tv) is that it is genuinely a city for everyone. It's got fun family activities (we really enjoyed boating around the harbour etc on our holiday), it's got good schools, it's got good job opportunities when your children get older. The only thing I can see a problem with is the issue of real estate (it's pricey of course, depending on where you live), and it depends on whether you want to raise your kids in the place that probably has the most crime per capita in Australia (don't quote me on that either). If the city thing isn't your thing there's always somewhere on the central coast, within a stone throw of the city if you should ever want to go there.

In my family if you want to retire, you go to Victor Harbour. My Uncle used to joke about it, calling it "God's waiting room". Then his nagged him into buying some property there, and well, I guess now he's in the waiting room.

3. If someone says "I have no regrets", how, if at all, does this change your view of the person?

Hrm, I'm not really sure how to answer that question. I've got a few regrets already! Although I enjoyed my time overseas I think my timing was bad and that I shouldn't have gone when I was so young, especially not when I was fresh out of a very sheltered lifestyle in a tight nit community. I also regret that I fucked around a bit at my first year of uni and now I'm paying the price because everyone else is graduating soon, if they haven't already, and I was already a year behind because of my travels.

However, I look back on these things as life experiences, lessons I wouldn't have been able to learn any other way. I daresay if I hadn't gone overseas I wouldn't be anywhere near as cautious or analytical of my (or any) environments, because my eyes wouldn't have been opened up to what the world is capable of (I mean that in the sense of seeing poverty like poor children begging in the streets, concentration camps, etc). I wouldn't have been as insightful I guess. So I guess if you look at it in this way I don't really have any regrets at all.

That said, whenever someone tends to say to me "I have no regrets", I'll admit I'm a little skeptical. When I think of the poem "The road less travelled" where taking that less travelled road "has made all the difference", I tend to think of that "difference" as a positive thing, no matter the outcome. I am the black sheep in a lot of cliques, because I'm not a sheep at all (I'm probably a donkey!)

I'll admit I have a tendency to think the reason someone has no regrets is because they've taken the road most travelled. Having no regrets at all within the vast expanse of opportunities we as human beings are faced with during our lifetimes suggests to me a lack of drive to do something different from the norm. I guess this is just something I value.

That said, someone who says "I have no regrets" obviously has a very positive outlook and values each of their experiences individually in some way, which is something I try to do myself. A positive outlook is something I also value.

4. What would your friends name as your best (and if you're feeling brave), your worst characteristics?
BEST:

loyal - i'm the first to stick up for anybody and the first to tell them when i think they're wrong. usually.

friendly - i like people in general, and as long as they're responsive to meeting someone new, i generally get along well with most people i meet. even if we're quite different as people.

always ready to talk about anything. i've got a pretty opinionated, probably seemingly black and white exterior, so some people get a shock when one day they're having a bad day and i actually empathise, and even more shockingly, respond to their problem

generous with the hugs (i love hugs. i don't get enough hugs. will you hug me?)

funny (sometimes, and usually inadvertantly. You may have noticed from a few blogs that I've got a very colourful way of describing even the most mundane things - I do that in real conversation too and people often find it amusing. Scarily half the time I'm not joking).

forthright

honest - I don't steal, I don't lie (my facial expressions just give it away anyway), I always at least try to do the best by people, i admit my faults (maybe not always outloud in front of other people, but at least to myself), and in a team i'm quite likely to be the most reliable person on the team.

look for the best in people (this has proven to be a big mistake on a few occassions but I still try to do it, you can't write the whole tree off just because of a few bad apples)

genuine

pour my heart and soul into whatever i put my mind to (people, ideas, missions, myspace... oh god I'm a geek...)

well intentioned

intuitive - i read people pretty well.

WORST

can be insulting in an attempt to be funny (i've called a few people "geeks" or "nerds" a few too many times for even my own liking - sorry guys)

don't always listen to things i need to hear - "Mel, you should read this book, it's called 'HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU'".

a bit of a conversation control freak (actually a bit of an everything control freak) - if i'm in a group i delegate tasks. If there's a debate happening I've always got my ten cents thrown in there. If other people aren't towing the line in some way it really grinds on my nerves.

i'm ambitious and ridiculously impatient and want all good things i want to come to me NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW and get annoyed when it doesnt happen (my degree being one of them)

i don't manage my money very well so whenever people ask me to do things i'm always broke

i'm really loud, sometimes unbareably so, and some of the opinions that come spouting out of my mouth, not even I believe in ("Mel can you turn the volume down a bit...?")

i have an obsessive streak which means i pour everything i've got into it and then one day just get bored and move onto something else (this year alone I've been through an art phase, a family history phase, a gym phase, now i'm in the myspace phase, next i can see myself in a cooking phase... mmm...)

i'm lazy and a chronic procstinator and it sometimes drives people nuts - not because it affects them in some way but because it's frustrating for them to see someone who's more than capable to do the work just plain NOT doing the work and suffering for it (i'm getting over that now though)

i'm really not the most sensitive person in the world, if something frustrates me i find it difficult to hide it/not to say something (although weirdly there are some people i just can't say anything to)

i actually have no fashion sense. despite all the talk of shoes and shopping in this blog, i still arrive to pick my sister up in the morning looking like i got dressed in the dark. it's been known to cause epileptic fits. believe me it's a bad trait.

if someone uses a commanding or superior tone in conversation it pushes all the wrong buttons and I find myself arguing with them when i don't even care about the essence of the conversation - the other day at work it was about whether or not this celebrity babies kid's father was in its life, just because the girl i was talking to implied i was a bit silly for thinking it was (i mean WHO CARES?!?!?!)

finally, when it comes to guys i feel i know them pretty well (i really do have a good sense of character judgement though, ask anyone who knows me, i'm pretty clued in on people) and so i want to jump the gun a bit in the relationship when they still feel like they don't know me all that well - that's when the my issues with impatience come into play


5. Are there any songs that you associate with turning points in your life? Which and why?

There is an entire soundtrack to my life. I seriously can't think of any of them right now except for Leaving on a Jet Plane by Bjork and Jewel, for obvious reasons. There are a few songs that make me go mushy inside though:
Alanis Morrisette's "Everything"
The Goo Goo Dolls - "Slide" "Irish" "Black Balloon" "Name"
Rob Thomas "Little wonders"
Disneyland After Dark (DAD) - nineteenhundredandyesterday

Plus about a million others, most of them too daggy to mention here!!! I actually listen to a lot of dance stuff these days so nothing too up to date and with meaning has entered my personal sphere recently.

Well, hope that answers your questions John!

PS. everyone (anyone?) reading this, I'm happy to do this "submit five questions" thing again, I thought it was pretty fun!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

How to build a life you can be proud of

"Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 15, 20 and 30 years?" - Joe

The topic of where I see myself in the future is an important one to me. I've always been somewhat of an ambitious person. Apparently I have a borderline type-A pesonality. We are the type of people who are chronic perfectionists and obsess over things, and try to put things in clearly labelled boxes.

Anyway, I digress - I've always had pretty high expectations of myself and had a pretty ambitious streak. I would be bored shitless not doing something where I was being mentally stimulated and even worse, if I don't I start to muck around and annoy everyone else. When I was in High School I decided I wanted to study Journalism, and that was my goal from there. Things seemed pretty set.

The last three years or so have changed my perspective on a number of things though. When I finished High School I decided to go on a youth exchange to live and learn about the culture there. To cut to the chase the trip was predominantly amazing with a few glitches at the end, but it was when I returned home that things got a little complicated.

Nevertheless I enrolled in my Arts degree at Uni and began to learn. I figured I'd get it back eventually. Something was missing though - I didn't have any mojo. There were books to be read, important ones, but they didn't want to be read. I took Media classes, stuck on the idea of becoming a Journalist still, and I gradually found that what I'd wanted all those years in High School was completely not up my alley.

I've fluffed around with my Arts degree for a couple of years now. Then eventually, when I finally got sick of people asking if I wanted to be a teacher, I finally I did the best thing I ever could.

I just packed my shit up and went home to my parents house for three months.

I had nothing there besides a big screen TV and a blockbuster membership to keep me occupied and I found myself scratching my head and really trying to figure out what was going on with my life. One day I just sat myself down with "Job Hunting for Dummies" and thought "right, that's it, I'm going to figure out what the hell I'm doing for once and for all".

I learned how to get myself motivated to look for a new job. I learned how to apply for those new jobs properly. I learned how to prepare for interviews. I thoroughly examined all of the things I wanted out of a career and found careers that matched those criteria rather than trying to adapt myself to whatever narrow opportunities came my way.

In short I actively began to search for what I wanted.

With this revelation came a whole new way of thinking. I realised that I didn't have to struggle with money anymore, that instead I could learn how to invest wisely and set myself up for life. I realised that my friends dropping off the face of the planet was their loss, and not mine. I realised that what I'd been missing for the last two years was a challenge and people interaction - I was lonely and bored because I was studying a degree that kept you in a corner reading books, and doing essays that essentially I could do in my sleep. All because I just wanted "a degree".

Furthermore, once I realised that categorising things in terms of importance, and putting everything into a neatly labelled box is what was slowing me down. If you spend a huge amount of your time putting things like "Journalism" in the "Future" box, you tend to forget that the boxes are breakable and the shelf they're sitting on doesn't come with a lifetime guarantee.

So what will I be doing in "in 5, 10, 15, 20 and 30 years?"

Whatever I freakin' want, and loving it! Hopefully working in marketing or running some sort of business that involves a lot of travel, regularly sharing laughter with my friends, canoodling with someone I think is awesome who thinks I am just as awesome, and constantly being challenged and thus made to look forward to the future.

Cheers,

Melissa